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Snooping Around: ManU Blogs by Sammy the Snake

So the Lord of Untold is looking for a few typing monkeys to write a regular pro-Wenger column.

Pro-wenger, I am. The main reason I started supporting Arsenal was the way the club was run, and that is mostly thanks to the man at the helm. But I’d like to exercise my option to bitch about him when the going gets really tough (like the last couple of days). I promise to be gentle though.

Writing, I can do. I usually write every day, specially emails and such. Regular, though, is gonne be tough for me. Hell, even my coffee isn’t regular any more.

So anyway, to cut a 40 year old story short, I’m a guy and love a challenge. Tony put me up to one, especially as I’ve always wondered what goes around in discussion forums for other clubs. With my wife watching a crappy movie, and Ryan Raynolds f-ing his ex on screen, I began my search.

As all good detectives do, I started my research with Googling “man u blog”, and clicked on the first result. This particular blog claims to be the “The No. 1 Man United Blog”, so I must have hit the Jack Pot!

The aesthetic look of the blog is very normal, very similar to any Arsenal supporting blog. A bit simplistic, looks like they didn’t put too much effort in to it, not my taste anyway. There’s a red block on top of the page, not much else to say really. There’s a sketch of a fist on the right of the page, as if to say “up yours” or something. For legal reasons, I can’t name the blog, just suffice to say they have Republik (yeh, look at the spelling!), and Mancunia (honest!) in it.  There’s a very commercial feel to this blog, the words “advertise with us” and “shop” right on the top of the page enforce this notion. The article on “X-Mas gifts” smells of real cheese, the really smelly kind.

The topics for the articles are your general daily crap about on loan players not wanting to return, so on and so forth. There’s one article about a certain whore-loving player, and it has grabbed so much attention with loads of comments. The article is quite short, basically a rewrite on Rooney’s PR stunt release about the fans’ reaction to his return, pretty lame if you ask me.

The comments section on this article, however, is a blizzard of opinions. Quite heated and diverse comments, just like our own Arsenal blogs. I am surprised that many comments are short one-liners, but I’m not surprised at the low quality of writing by ManU fans. The number of spelling mistakes is unbelievable, just goes to show the level of schooling in the north. In any case, I get the feeling that the passion is nowhere near the levels we experience among Gooners. Only thing to report is that many fans wish him dead, but you already knew that.

There’s another article about being unbeaten since April 4, 2010. Hell no, I can’t do this, not now. Not ever. The word Unbeaten should only be used in relation to the Invincible, and it hurts my eyes to see it being used for another club.

Tony, I love you man, but this was a bad idea. No Gunner should go through this torture, moving around scum comments about their scum players and their bankrupt club. It can’t be done regularly, and I assure you, it won’t be read by die hard Arsenal supporters because we don’t give a toss about their crap brand of football. May be I’m biased and hence blind, but I like it this way! I can’t care to read or write about a club that’s near financial ruin, and all their supporters can talk about is their striker’s below the belt action.

Having said that, I am curious to know what the Chelsea fans are talking about these days. I really want to know how the Russians are dealing with their recurring nightmare, losing to teams they were brushing aside easily just weeks ago. Are the fans calling for Ancelotti’s head? Are they questioning the motives of the board? Do they think Abromovich is suddenly the sole survivor of the devil empire on earth? Or are they calling for Ray to shine once more?

I take this Untold challenge as my call of duty for my beloved Arsenal. I will continue to spy around other blogs and get you some juicy reports on the weather conditions at stadiums near and far.

I’m hereby rendering my application to Untold for a snooping job, to go around rival blogs and to get my fellow Gooners some dirt on the dirtiest teams in the land. I promise to write some half-ass articles on not-so regular basis, so long as the dental plan from Untold covers my entire family.

Win, lose or draw, Gooner till I die,

Sammy The Snake

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