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By Tony Attwood

We have commented on the fact that most football commentaries are so awful it is better to turn the sound down most of the time.  But for once I want you to turn the sound up, to help develop an Football-English dictionary (that is a dictionary of the gibberish phrases that people say when working for radio and TV in English, and while seemingly watching a football match at the same time.

Apart from the phrases we need to know what they mean.

Here are some we have already.

  • A footballing side
  • A game of two halves
  • All to play for
  • Best form of attack is defence
  • Can’t win nothing with kinds
  • End to end
  • Just enough to put him off
  • He bottled it (he’s a bottler)
  • He had to go
  • He has lost the dressing room
  • High and wide
  • Literally – A literally impossible angle, (or maybe literally raining cats and dogs)
  • Lost a yard of pace
  • Mark of true champions
  • On paper
  • Park the bus
  • Row Z
  • The magic of the Cup
  • This game needs a goal
  • They’ll know they have been in a game
  • Schoolboy defending
  • Too good to go down
  • You can’t get cheaper than a free transfer
  • You can’t question his committment
  • Up for the cup
  • Unbelievable
  • Virtually unmarked, virtually impossible
  • World class

What you can’t include are the ones that we have invented

  • Rotational time wasting
  • Rotational fouling
  • A 14 man team (11 players, ref and 2 linesmen)

So we need

Definitions and extra phrases please, starting this afternoon.

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