UNTOLD ARSENAL » Blog Archive » Walcott out of under 21s, Hull Spitty receive the Curse of Arsenal

Theo has been injured in training and misses the game against the Zebras, which is a great shame, but also the Under 21s games in Slobanova-land or somewhere and then against someone else.  Uzbuggerme or something like that.   That’s a relief, because the way players are treated in internationals is always a matter of great concern – and that concern was heightened by the fact that there was talk of him being on stand-by for England’s first team.

Although the injury is extremely regretable, at least if it had to come, now is not such a bad time, since after the Zebra game there is a blank period for the games against people whose grandmothers were born somewhere so they can qualify.  The word from the Lord Wenger is that they don’t know how long he’ll be out.

The better news is that Almunia and Eduardo are back in the squad against the Zebras.   Cesc is planing to come back for the Man City game.

Meanwhile on the Hull Spitty front the Curse of Arsenal has been put on the club and its manager, and immediately the manager he got found guilty of doing silly things, and fined £2000 by the Fatuous Association, and warned about his future conduct.   Since his conduct after the fight he had with the Zebra manager involved launching attacks on Cesc and making up comments about spitting, he could be in for more trouble.  He has also been shown to be guilty of lying about not shaking hands with the Lord Wenger at a previous match.

The Curse of Arsenal is not to be mucked about with.   Last season Birmingham City got it, and immediately went on a losing streak that saw them move from half way down the league to relegation, saw the fraud squad march in and take away a lot of papers, saw three senior members of the club arrested on fraud issues, and another detained over the issue of alleged sexual misdemenours.

There is no suggestion that any of the Birmingham City ensemble did anything wrong at all at any time ever – and that is the point of Curse of Arsenal.   It just mucks you around, whether you have done anything or not.  And Birmingham and its employees are totally straight and have not done a thing.  I’d swear to that.  Nothing.  Ever.  Always dead straight and ok.

Two players also got the curse last summer – Hleb and Flamini.   Both have since found that their moves away from Arsenal have been disasterous, and have indicated that they would like to move again.   Neither has started in more than half of the first team games they should have got while both were automatic choices at Arsenal.

Both will of course find new clubs – so the harm is not longterm, but the Curse is a reminder to all players who think it funny to walk away from Arsenal.  It should certainly be a reminder to Flamini who, had he stayed, would have reached new summits with Arsenal, could have been a France regular, and possibly ultimately its captain.  Now he languishes on the bench and wonders where he can go next.   Certainly after rejection by Milan (who won’t play him even though they have injury worries in that position) it is doubtful that any of the big clubs would take him.  For him it is down, down, down… and all because he was silly.

This season the Curse has not been put on any players, but Irma Witch, head of the Curse Committee, has confirmed that both Blackburn Rotation and Hull Spitty have now been cursed, and further disasters can be expected to befall the teams in the coming months.

Watch this space.  Well, not this space exactly because it will just show you this page, but this blog, because no one else in their right mind will ever mention the Curse.  Not that I am not in my right mind you understand.  Not at all.

(c) The Head Warlock, Curse of Arsenal Division, Hubble Bubble Land. 2009.