Untold Arsenal » 2008 » June

We did it: we won the Euro thingy

When I say “won”, what I mean of course is “survived”.
Euro Whatnot Thing has been and gone and none of our team has been injured.  We were helped by the fact that some countries got knocked out early, some of our players were injured anyway and so didn’t get there, and our two superstars, Van […]

Ade: the truth at last

Barca need to buy players, and have a vested interest in unsettling the players of teams they might meet in the Champions League. The President has to keep the fans happy after a disastrous season, the manager’s gone, and Cesc’s performance in the Euros is rubbing their noses in it.
I’d say it was a […]

Just 1 game to go in the great injury fest

Here we are This is it. It is nearly over. We (the great tribe that lives at Untold Arsenal Towers) are holding our own and each other’s breaths, and it is getting painful. We’re so nervous we have to keep going to the toilet (and holding our breaths).

The cause of the excitement is quite simple: it’s nearly over. […]

Crouch to Arsenal: all the facts and background info

Apparently Crouch is coming to Arsenal to replace Ade.  The reason is the two players have a lot in common.   Crouch is tall and so is Ade.   Also Ade is tall, and so is Crouch – so you can see the link.
Of course you will now want to know all about Crouch – and fortunately […]

The most mouthwatering headturning transfer story of the century

The point about some (not all, but some) of the pronoucements made within Untold Arsenal is that 132% of the stuff that we all read in the papers, hear on the TV, and see in the blogs, about Arsenal and transfers, is untrue.
And not just untrue, so utterly, totally, completely, widly untrue, that no one […]

Barca apologise to Arsenal over Adebayor

Barca (or the “Catalan Giants TM” as the press like them to be called) have formally apologised to Arsenal FC, (”the north London club”) over the stories about Barca trying to buy Adebayor.
“It was a sad case of mistaken identity,” said Hardly Anyone, the President of Barca.   “We wanted a really intelligent insider in the […]

Ex-player says current player should stay/leave: Exclusive

How to be a top rated journalist for a big time paper.
1.  Look down the list of players of any team you dislike quite a bit.  So, assuming your love Arsenal (otherwise why are you reading this, please close your computer and go and lie down somewhere).  For this example, let’s take Manchester Bankrupt’s nasty […]

What will happen to Hleb if/when he goes?

Or put another way, will he too suffer the Curse of Arsenal?
Just to refresh your memory in case you have gone beyond the age of 18 and thus have started to lose the brain cells, almost every player who has left Arsenal has done badly – often very badly.   The last one who did […]

Wenger gets another one over Sir Alex F

If you saw them walk off at Ancient Trafford, Lord Wenger and “Sir” Alex FWord were all close buddies and lovely mates.  And why not?   The two clubs were the only ones to play attacking positive football, and both have a lot in common when it comes to dealing with the likes of Chelsea, and […]

Who’s up and who’s down: the Arsenal numbers

Straight in at number 12 is Carlos Vela, Mexican superstar centre forward who plays like Eduardo. Aaron Ramsey is also straight in at number 16. But the big mystery is what has happened to Fran Merida.  He’s… nowhere.

Almunia shoots up to number 1 as expected, and Fabianski takes up place 21.  There are gaps at number 8, […]