Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011 « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News. Supporting the Lord Wenger; coach of the decade
Snooping Around Chelsea Blogs
By Sammy The Snake
Luiz; 25 Million Pounds
Torres; 50 Million Pounds
The look on Cole’s face after getting knocked out of FA Cup: Priceless!
It’s a truly blue world at Chelsea these days. And why not?! They are 5th in the league, 12 points behind the current leaders (soon to be displaced, of course!) with only 1.73 points per game. They got kicked out of Carling Cup, and have just removed themselves out of contention for the FA Cup. Their only hope, and it is a really very slim hope, is the Champions League. If football history tells us anything, it’s that teams languishing in mid table generally don’t with the CL.
But wait a minute, Mr. Carlo has another idea when he says “The season is not finished yet. It could be the best season. Maybe it could be the worst. I don’t know”. Now let’s analyse the words of this true genius:
“The season is not finished yet”: Wow! Carlo, you’ve got a calendar on your desk!! You da man! Kick ‘em where it hurts…
“It could be the best season”: Oooohhh! How do you figure? Maybe, just maybe, the FA & UEFA will take pity on Chelski, and disqualify all the teams in the world in the next 6 weeks, and crown you the champions of England, Europe and even South America. What are you smokin’ mate?
“Maybe it could be the worst season”: You’re starting to make sense now!
“I don’t know”: Acknowledging that you’re clueless won’t get you very far (far enough till the gates at Stamford Bridge though!).
The award winning Chelsea Blog, is all doom and gloom, so I will give you bits and pieces of the stuff they’re saying in different articles:
“The romance of the FA Cup turned into more of a messy break-up for us yesterday… Words fail me… Yesterday’s game showed us a few things: Firstly, we need to kill games off but we knew that already, second, we’re absolutely shite at penalty shoot-outs, but again that wasn’t exactly news to us. It showed us something about Everton we might not already have known though – they’re a bunch of snidey fuckers.” (You’re not just sh!t, you’re bad losers too!)
They are crying over Heitinga disturbing Cole’s “focus” before his penalty miss! (And I thought Cole usually sends pictures of his “focus” area to every girl he meets…!). Anyway, they go on with these lovely words:
“Our players spent the best part of the game having lumps kicked out of them (not that Dowd appeared to notice)… once it gets to a penalty shoot-out, it’s a straight forward battle of wills without the gamesmanship. “
Come on, you lost fair and square, and you’re doing it regularly these days. Stop being a cry baby. So do they think Carlo can turn it around?
“No desire, no passion, no motivation, no imagination and no bloody shots on target!…Is it any wonder we’re all walking about under a black cloud then?…I’m really not one of those ‘sack the manager’ supporters… Having said that, I do have my concerns about Carlo Ancelotti’s abilities to manage Chelsea. He just doesn’t seem to have any real connection with Chelsea at all – sort of like Scolari really.”
Nobody says they are the “sack the manager” type, but all of them eventually come down to saying “sack the manager”. You’re the type, and you’re no different!
This place is so depressed, I’m reaching out for my box of Prozac again!
Let’s hope Talk Chelsea is a bit more optimistic: “Shoot out woe for abysmal Chelsea” (No, no! Name calling won’t get you anywhere). While I guess you know where this is going, let’s see what the comments section has to offer:
“Definately a crisis now (If it was’nt already). There is a real lack of belief at the Bridge and one I haven’t seen for several years. Ancelotti needs to decide on either Torres or Drogba till the end of the year, both can’t play in the same team and play to the strikers strength. You get the feeling that this is Drogba and Ancelotti’s last season” (It’s their spelling, not mine!)
Chelseadaft are still romanticizing about Mourinho retuning to Chelsea! And they quote Carlo saying “”I have never quit… I don’t have to consider my position… It is the owner that has to consider my position…”, and they try to spin it by saying:
“Carlo is a good man, a good manager and a proud man… but then it has fallen apart… I expect Chelsea to shake off this mini slump”
Excuse me?!!! Did I read mini slump? Where you born yesterday? This is a major catastrophe. Billionaires don’t like losing, especially after forking out 75 Million Pounds on 2 (yes, just 2) players. So you see this as just a mini slump, eh? And Stalin has been resting a bit, and will be back to run Russia soon… Right!?!
Our very own Schz-Man put it best when he tweeted:
“Is it a bird? It it an aeroplane? No, it’s just Ashley throwing Chelsea out of the FA Cup 
”
You gotta love the boy! He’s not only a great ‘keeper at his tender age, he’s a good talker too!
See you all at Wembley Stadium on Sunday, if I can get an air ticket, hotel and a ticket for the game… Otherwise, see you through the TV! But wherever you are, keep shouting till we lift the trophy on Sunday!
Sammy The Snake
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