Tuesday, April 24th, 2012 « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News. Supporting the Lord Wenger; coach of the decade
By Billy The Dog McGraw
Our man in the swamp
There is a general feeling among the great and good that the current series of articles on Arsenal’s signings this summer has been a bit lacking in, well, what’s the word. Rabies? No. Razzamataz? No. Ridiculousness. That’s the word.
So I am here to add some.
You see, apart from plucking names out of hats in order to fill column inches, journalists resident in the Depths of Despair public house in Wapping Swamp, East London, (and their allies in the blog sphere) also like to play the disruption game.
Of course this summer the focus is on Tottenham as much as anyone – who will Bale be going to, how many of the 31 year olds in the team will actually still be standing next August, will Arry leave, and if so will Tottenham follow WHU, Bournemouth, Southampton and Portsmouth (Arry’s other clubs) and go into administration. That sort of thing.
But if in doubt, and generally after the ninth or tenth pint with double whisky chaser they will always return to Arsenal.
The Daily Mail – whose hacks (regulars in the Depths) like to do this a lot, and they were particularly keen on it over the signing of Mario Götze – a story they have now run three times (on the basis that most Mail readers are so senile that they don’t notice that the “news” is all “s****” and not actually new).
Their argument (I use the word loosely) is that Borussia Dortmund will let Mr W. walk off with the attacking midfielder for £25m and and Mr W will play him on the wing (or “flanks” as the horse-excited hacks at the Mail call it. As in he likes “cutting in from the flanks”.)
That means, cries the Mail, that we would have Götze one side, Robin in the middle and Podolski on the other hand. (Podolski is signing this afternoon apparently).
Forget that two of the front three are not actually Arsenal players at this moment (the Mail wouldn’t notice anyway). This “starting combination” would raise “serious doubts” about whether Theo and Gervinho, Ryo, Yossi and the Ox, have any future at Arsenal.
Clear the decks. New headline: Massive clear out at Arsenal
Clever eh? The players are not with us but we have a new crisis of a big clear out. Oh and then undoubtedly, when one of them gets injured Arsenal’s “crazy spending spree” will have resulted in us “scratching around in the 3rd team to find youngsters to make up the numbers.”
Actually, although the signing of Götze’s seems unlikely he could also replace Rosicky in the role he has now resumed in the centre. But that would mean the Mail would see that it as a desperate attempt to recover the excitement our game has missed since the kidnapping of Cesc Fabregas.
However (and here a pause for reality) that really could work, and would be a significant move to overcoming our terminal injury crisis problems.
Although all the stuff that comes out of the Wapping Swamp should be put back in it Götze does fit our profile. He came through the youth system at Dortmund’s youth starting with them aged eight. He played his first Bundesliga game in November 2009 and that went on to help Dortmund win the league in 2010–11, aged 18. He started playing for the German national team in 2010, and scored his first goal for them against Brazil aged 19 and a couple of months.
But he only signed a new four year contract in March 2012.
However he is also reputed to be a bright kid – his father is a professor at Dortmund University, and Mr Wenger does prefer bright players.
So now you know.
Next week: M. Mouse of Florida Fanciful signs for Tottenham. “I’ve always rated the wee fella,” says Joe Jordan.
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