Tonight’s team, cocaine, the most unpopular man in Borussia, and a priest down the pub « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News, supporting the club, the players and the manager
By Billy the Dog McGraw.
Borussia as you will know, being educated fellows and not like those hearty roughs from down the Seven Sisters Road, is Latin. It means Prussia, which is the ancient state which came out of the Margraviate of Brandenburg.
These things are important, and not what you get on your ordinary Arsenal site where some jolly chaps think that Borussia is actually a suburb of Margate. In fact some of the locals in Kent are starting to wonder about all these people in red turning up and talking a stroll along the prom.
Because of course it isn’t. Which is why Borussia Dortmund v Borussia Mönchengladbach is not a local derby. Incidentally do you know who the most hated man is on the Borussia Mönchengladbach terraces?
It’s the guy who shouts, “Give us a B…”
Anyway, there’s Borussia Dortmund,Borussia Fulda,Borussia Mönchengladbach, Borussia Neunkirchen, Borussia Friedenstal, and Borussia Lindenthal-Hohenlind.
Borussia D launched itself on an unsuspecting Latin speaking populace in 1909 when a group of athletic young men got very unhappy with the local church team Trinity Youth, (Trinity Yoof in English). So they turned on Father Dewald, and speaking in the manner of Harry Enfield when sitting in a pub with Paul (this will mean nothing if you don’t watch old time British comedy TV on satellite, sorry) said “No!”
Or to be more literate, they blocked the door of the church in the style of Thomas A’Becket in TS Eliot’s Murder in the Cathedral. Either way, you get the point. Unless you don’t.
The priest didn’t like the lads nipping down to the Auld Triangle (Zum Wildschütz in the native tongue), and there was multo aggitato.
In 1929 they decided to follow the Rangers approach to football and went bust, just about, by signing the wrong players.
They are the only publicly traded club on the German stock market and their supporters will have a wonderful time when they come to London, what with the pound being worth a Euro these days. For most Euro peoples in fact England is just about free. But that is for another day!
Being on the stock market however took Dortmund close to banks, and we all know what that means. Cocaine, heavy drinking, wild gambling and an imbecilic inability to count the change while freewheeling with everyone else’s money, and then telling us it was our fault.
So they had to sell the Westfalenstadion ground for 45 cents to the guy who runs the sweet shop outside. They had another bash at bankruptcy in 2005, with the shares that once cost €11 now worth two Flavian pobblebeads and a packet of smarties each.
An insurance company took over the stadium and they can average around 77,000 people a match. So the question is, how can a club that gets 77,000 people on average to each game go bust? Only a banker with cocaine up his nose could ever answer that question.
Here’s our likely team…
Szczesny
Sagna Koscielny, Mertesacker Santos
Song, Frimpong
Arteta
Gervinho van Persie Arshavin
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The question is how to play the midfield without Wilshere and Ramsey? I thought the Song/Frimpong combination worked when we saw it briefly, but we do also have Coquelin, who is highly rated in Untold Turrets.
Which takes us onto the back up team…
Fabianski, Jenkinson, Djourou, Gibbs, Ryo, Walcott, Park, Benayoun, Coquelin
Sadly Mrs Dog has forbidden me the chance to spend £83 trillion on getting to Margate so I shall watch it on TV in the sitting room, but Walter and Erik plus the rest of the Benelux group are there, in real life, and I do hope they will be doing the catering report, which as you will know, if a regular reader, is an important element in contemporary Untoldism.
Anything else you need to know?
PS: I noticed in the bookshop that there are a lot of copies of “Tottenham in The Champions League 2011/12 – a guide to the grounds” left on sale. Apparently they have now been reduced.
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