The art of name calling: what the names of the Arsenal team actually mean. « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News. Supporting the Lord Wenger in all he does

By Paul Blythe

The Art of Name calling.

We all have one, more often than not several. The ones bestowed upon us by our loving parents and those used by friends and foes alike, often to describe our obvious flaws and shortcomings.

However names often have a deeper more powerful and historic significance often lost in the sands of time. In the past they were chosen carefully as a necessary precursor to lead the person to greatness and fame.  These labels often act as indicators as to the future characteristics of those burdened to carry them for life are sometimes eerily accurate, or decidedly wide of the mark.

The Arsenal team has names to conjure with, from all corners of the world. They should be redolent of talent, skill and intelligence, of athleticism and prowess.  You judge how accurate, when the player is compared to the true meaning of their patronymic.

Here’s a list of the meanings of the names of some of our team.  In case you can’t guess who each one is, there’s a guide at the end…

1.  God is found in us, widely misjudged, rock like.

2. He has the heart of a lion, the hair of a llama, stamina of a wolf.

3. One of the immovable twins.

4. One who speaks Gaelic, a Roman land owner and apt to attack rather than defend.

5. A mighty oak standing tall above all others in the grove of laurel trees.

6. A true and fearless defender of the faith from the region of Sebaste.

7. A welcome bringer of light to save us from the dark.

8. Elegant as a gazelle, strong as a water buffalo.

9. A Frenchman (yes really!) born of the forge of Catalonia, near a quaint fishing village.

10. A maestro of fluid movement, one of twins.

11. A bringer of victory upon the wind.

12. A protector of mankind, praised like a pine tree on a large mountain.

13. A gift from a gracious God to a small town in North Leicestershire.

14. Both manly and courageous with curiously smooth nether regions.

15. A smile on the darkest of days to remind us that God is with us.

16. He is famous and brilliant, hailing from the Pierce Valley.

17. He is manly and strong with an eye to finish what is started by others.

18. He is the most divine of gifts from a humble peasant’s cottage.

19. A victorious conqueror with a taste for older women.

20. Tireless, loyal and unsophisticated in the ways of tricology.

I wonder just what goes through a person’s mind when they name their children. The more obvious mistakes could be found amongst these beauties, Barb Dwyer, Hazel Nutt, Terry Bull, Paige Turner.

Then there’s Helen Back, Stan Still, Tim Burr, Teresa Green, Anna Sasin, Ryan Shawcross, Justin Case, and Barry Cade. All real and must have lead to some playground or workplace taunting and bullying.

Oh the answers, as if you didn’t know already…

1. Manuel Almunia

2. Bacary Sagna

3. Thomas Vemaelen

4. Gael Clichy

5. Laurent Koscielny

6. Sebastien Squillaci

7. Kieran Gibbs

8. Abou Diaby

9. Cesc Fabregas

10. Tomas Rosicky

11. Samir Nasri

12. Alex Song

13. Jack Wilshere

14. Andre Arshavin

15. Emmanuel Eboue

16. Robin van Percy

17. Carlos Vela

18. Theo Walcott

19. Nicklas Bentner

20. Marouane Chamakh