The Anti-Arsenal Arsenal face their biggest test yet « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News. Supporting the Lord Wenger in all he does
By Bogus Cheese
My dears! My dears! What a moment, what a day! Welcome welcome! Camembert to you all.
One of the many tricks of the Anti-Arsenal Arsenal web sites is to make endless criticisms while making few predictions.
However several of the old “Wenger is an alien, turf him out now” sites did, through the summer, let their guard slip somewhat when they started predicting that huge numbers of Arsenal season ticket holders would not be renewing this season, because of their dislike of our great Lord Wenger, all praise be.
What a slip! What a Danish Blue! How could they be so careless?
The sources of this eccentric, strange and frankly bizarre story were simple in themselves…
1: People had been writing to the blogs saying, “I don’t want this season ticket any more while Wenger is at the club – does anyone else want it?” Trading in Season Tickets is of course a crime under the Law of the Land, or maybe just the terms of the Season Ticket, but either way it is a Bad Thing.
2: Someone had applied for a season ticket and found he moved up 40,000 places on the waiting list overnight.
3: At every match you see spaces so Arsenal must be lying.
Actually dear reader the “Arsenal must be lying” bit is there anyway, without the first half of the sentence, but the AAA sites felt it a Good Thing to put the two bits together. Oh Koenigsberg!
Any road up, as we say in Wood Green, their prediction was, the club would at last feel the backlash of all right thinking supporters who have Had Enough of this regime and wanted a return to the days of being honest hearty English lads who give their all and speak the language proper.
So, the prediction is made.
Now I am writing this my dear-i-os before I set off on the long and winding road across town to our spiritual home, but I predict that all around me will be the same old faces. A little older, a little more wrinkly (and that’s just Pat Rice – what a lad, what a stayer, what a boy!)
The number of season ticket holders who have given up their tickets will be, I predict, under 2000 across the whole ground. The waiting list really is 10 years (I predict, hand on Cheddar), and the number of empty seats will remain due entirely to people not getting to the games because they live a long way away.
So, my chums, my pals, my dear bit of old Gorgonzola, my Lancashire Blue, why would the AAA make such a wild prediction?
The answer of course is that a lot of the silly smoked Cornish are in fact Man IOU fans who can’t take the fact that in their stadium anyone who wants to can buy a ticket anywhere in the ground, season or daily. In fact I am told they even take Oyster cards.
(Breaking news is that the Glazers are not paying a penny back on any loans and the cost of the loans is going up again, while the little fella from the far eastern shores where reality is unknown has had enough of Liverpuddle and taken his goats cheese elsewhere).
The world is ours, my old Welsh rarebit, we are one of only three clubby type things that has sold all its seasons, and one of the other two (the very tiny totts) don’t count because their ground is so small that if an ant stamped on it, it wouldn’t even notice. And anyway who ever heard of people paying for anything at the far end of Seven Sisters?
So thus we march onwards under our glorious Lord, our Leader, our Hero, our Dearest Pal, our Great and Glorious creator of the Unbeaten.
I look forward to exposing another AAA racket next week. Be there or be square as you hep cats say, what?
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