Saturday, April 24th, 2010 « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News. Supporting the Lord Wenger in all he does

A blue moon arises when a full moon appears twice in one month. It is rather dull really. There are just about 13 full moons in a year and only 12 months, so logically one month is going to get a second one in one month if one sees what one is saying.

Calling it blue has no logical point or purpose but it gives a meaning to life for the supporter of Manchester City, with hilarious consequences.

This is a very old club who last won a trophy (in the Form of the League Cup) in the infamous Battle of Nasby just off the A14 in Northamptonshire when the Roundheads beat the Cavaliers or vice versa.

Shakespeare celebrated this event and indeed much of the early history of Manchester City in the “Chronicles of Wasted Time” sonnet.  Out of this he built his play “Much Ablue about Nuffink” in which the Toure twins are separated at birth and then spend their lives kicking balls on different continents while trying to find each other with hilarious consequences.  Each summer and winter the popular press claim that the twins Kolo and Yaya are seen together but the story is never true and always has hilarious consequences.   The Much Ablue play which was written in 1600 (tea time) is often performed and much loved and includes the famous song

Can a White Man Sing the Blues

Can a Blue Man Eat More Greens

with hilarious consequences.

After the City of Manchester Games the club was given the stadium which had been paid for by UK taxpayers for free, and they only have to pay us rent if they win the league.

In recent times Manchester City has looked at the KGB in Fulham and decided that since Freedom is Slavery and Ignorence is Strength this would be a good way to go.  They brought in Sheikh Yermoney, made famous in a Frank Zappa album of the same name, and watched what they did in Fulham, and then did it twice as much, with hilarious consequences.

As a result they have spent the gross national product of Zimbabwe every three weeks for the past 18 months, but the result is quite differnt from that in the KGB’s domanin.

This can be seen in the way that mothers in the two lands tell stories to their kiddies at night time.  In Manchester Cityville they tell of a funny man in a funny hat who owned everything and decided to throw it all away on another group of funny people whom he never met and never wanted to meet and who sing songs about a big ball of rock in the sky that reflects the light from the sun and once a year reaches a particular position in the sky twice within 31 days.  Isn’t that fun?  And the kiddies fall asleep.

In Fulham they speak however of death, and how after death there is nothing but darkness and more darkness, and how the dead lie still and wait for eternity.  But how then after their eternity of waiting in the darkness they see in the distance something moving, and they know it is evil beyond all evil and eternity of evil and it is coming to get them, and it is called the oilman who will destroy the world of football as we know it.

“But,” screams the little child in terror, “isn’t the funny man in a funny hat evil as well?”

“Yes,” says the world-weary parent, “but he’s a bit of a prat.”

So there we are and here we are.  Looking at our team I suspect we may have the likes of

• In goal: The Fabulous Fabianski twins: Lucas and Lucaz
• At the back: Clichy, Silvestre, Campbell, Sagna or vice versa
• In front of them, picking up the pieces: One Song
• And then: Diaby and Nasri
• And in front of them the amazing: Bendtner, Van Persie, Walcott
• With the optional extras of Rosicky, Eboue, Eduardo, Merida, Vela

Roll up roll up. This is us, forget everyone else, forget the last two results.  If you are really Arsenal you support this club, today, now, and recognise that William Shakespeare, just like the Queen Mother, was an Arsenal supporter.

Can’t say fairer than that.

I’m off to do a spot of the old DVD making for next season’s membership pack, a chat about Arsenal Independent Supporters Assn followed by a bit of shouting, and then on for a jolly take away with friends in the suburbs.  It’s a tough life.

(c) 2010 William Shakespeare, Tony Attwood, and the Duke of Cumberland’s bicycle.

There are more articles if you can stand it.  www.blog.emiratesstadium.info usually works a bit.   Or buy my book which is even sillier.