Pest Control – Adebayor « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News. Over 750,000 visits per month

By Sir Toby Belch

Roberto Mancini has become the latest manager to tackle the growing problem of unwanted pests about the ground, and his actions have put journalists on high alert.

He has taken what insiders call a “stance” and what those in the know call “a hardline stance” over what footballing journalists call “The Adebayor Question”, a question to which those of us really in the know, know there is no answer.

Mr Adebayor, best known perhaps for stamping on players faces and running the length of a pitch to taunt fans in a manner likely to cause the breach of the police, has been “playing” with Tottenham Hotspur.

Roberto Mancini is said to have agreed a £5.5 million fee with the Hotspurs for the man from Togo.  Mr Adebayor, last seen strolling up and down White Hart Lane, while earning a sum that would make many people go weak at the whatnots.  Mr Adebayor has not commented on his newly found “Pest” status.

Now it seems Mr Adebayor – who has always claimed that he did the face stamping bit for free (“it was gratuitous” he claimed) has said he sees no reason why he should accept a salary less than the one that Mr Redknapp (unemployed, of Sandbanks Road, Poole, Dorset) agreed with him for his loan.

Mr Adebayor, having been officially designated as a “pest” has not been included in the squad for Manchester City’s pre-season matches.   Roque Santa Cruz, who is also deemed surplus to requirements but is not designated in the role of “Pest”, is being encouraged to get match fit.

Thus is the way it goes for Pests.

“I am sorry for Adebayor,” said Mr Mancini, although the level of belief that others have in that statement is limited, especially as Mr Mancini was giggling at the time.  “He has no chance at City.”   This of course is quite possibly an ambiguous statement and so Mr Mancini added. “He has absolutely no chance of playing this season here.”

Mr Adebayor cost City £26 million when he joined from Arsenal in 2009.  He earns £8.5 million a year, so has actually cost Manchester City over £51,000,000 so far, and still counting – although of course some of that rather amusingly has been paid by Real Mad and Tottenham Hotspur.  If Mr Adebayor decides to stay at Manchester City he will continue to cost them £8.5m a year.  It is believed that the presence of Mr Adebayor at Manchester City is a problem.  It is also believed that no one will touch him with a barge pole.

 Ordinary is Pointless

If you find you have an Adebayor in the house, best thing is to call the council.

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