Newcastle Beachboys vs Arsenal: how to get a prediction dead right (well, almost) « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News, supporting the club, the players and the manager

By Tony Attwood

Sometimes there is a moment to sit back and reflect.  To look at the finer points of detail and say, well, yes, while the broad outline is vital the exact issues are important.  Perhaps even to admit that occasionally one doesn’t have to say, “Cor blimely guv that’s a turn up an no mistake”*

I speak of course of the minutiae of writing a column on a forthcoming game 10 hours or so before the match itself kicks off, whereupon one focuses on the players and indeed their identities, the numbers on their backs, and so forth.

Now I doubt that you will recall such petty detail, but for the sake of form here is what I wrote in my column of yesterday morn…

The team, I proclaimed, would be…

Wojciech Szczesny

Eboue, Djourou, Koscileny, Gibbs

Eastmond

JET, Lansbury

Walcott, Bendtner, Vela

Although I also added the caveat…

“Denilson might get another game,”

And lo, behold, to wit, viz, forsooth, what did we get?  It was exactly my team as selected, apart from where it wasn’t (as in Rosicky and Denilson – whom I semi-selected) played in front of Eastmond.

9.5 out of 11. Not bad eh?

Praise and congratulations are, I think due, and in receiving them I will be modest, retiring and deferential in my normal manner.  You may form an orderly queue at my door.

What I particularly loved about the game played on the Newcastle Riviera (which according to Rhys in his commentary on my preview of the game, is the hub of civilisation and reconstructive thinking), this game was the way Arsenal demonstrated on their own the two different approaches to football.  There were the usual 25 passing moves, swinging it around from side to side of the pitch, and then, just for contrast, just for fun, there were the little bits where every time someone got the ball he gave it back to the Beachboys.

There was also a couple of very droll sections where every time Eastmond passed the ball to anyone they passed it straight back to him.  But he was cool, sanguine, as he gave a look as if to say, “Are you taking the young lady?**

But above and beyond it all Bendtner has scored two crackers in two appearances since his reconstruction, and Theo has now scored something like 345 goals in 5 appearances (although my calculator does seem to be a little on the blink so that might not be quite right).

It is exactly as I have been saying all season. We just have far too big a squad.  How do all these players fit in?  There will be rebellion in the ranks.  Who will we play in the front line against the pornographers of Western Ham?  Could Bendtner and Chamakh both play in a game together (I am not quite sure how, although I suppose you can put Bendtner on the wing).  Theo must play surely after displays like last night.

The midfield of Nasri, Cesc and Song seem to pick themselves, unless you want a second defensive player like Diaby there.  (Incidentally where is Diaby?)

Then there is the issue of Arshavin, who puts through more people for goals than anyone else in the league, and who also plays the game of looking disinterested so often that he not only fools the opposition but also our own supporters…

Oh it is so tough.

I really have to say that I loved last night’s game, from the moment Bendtner took three pot shots at the keeper, as if to say “Look you silly bugger if you keep stopping these I am going to keep kicking them at you”, through the Theo’s ability to run at the goal, put the ball 0.5mm from the keeper’s leg and score.   And their goal was a cracker.

So, with 1-4 against the very tiny totts, and the 0-4 against the beachboys from the Newcastle Riviera, what next?  The sequence demands that our next opponents score minus 1, which would be something of a new development.  Imaginary numbers meet Association Football.  Now there’s a thought and a half.

* Cockney rhyming slang – without the rhyme.

** And with the rhyme – young lady = miss”

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