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Ipswich vs Arsenal
A preview by our man with a spot: Billy the Dog
“The Gunners are firm favourites to progress to the Wembley showpiece after an impressive run through the competition so far.”
I copied that from the Sky Sports web site. Gibberish isn’t it? I mean, my pet sheep could write better stuff than that, and she only speaks Greek.
What makes it worse is that I’m watching the match on Sky tonight, after my boat out to Ipswich was cancelled due to bad weather. I know many people still hang to the old belief that Ipswich is the county town of Countyshire, but the truth is that 50 years ago it was towed off-shore in order to become a pirate radio station called Radio Caroline, named of course after Princess Michelle of Kent and her husband Tony Benn.
But I digress. Nikky Bendtner is playing because the World Champion Coach of All Time said, he will rediscover his form when he plays a lot. That means Robin and Marianne (are you sure of that spelling? – Tony) will be pulling on the big overcoats and huddling up.
As for Les Garçons Des Tractors (as they are often called by the Panamanian fishermen who service the island) they will have their Jewell in the stand (he’s not yet in charge, although goodness knows why). Roy Keane will be walking his dog. (Interestingly Ipswich beat Northampton in this cup, and Northampton beat Liverpool, so that tells you something about dog walking).
Grant Leadbitter is banned, but Tottenham have rushed through approval so that their man Jake Livermore and Celtic defender Darren O’Dea can play despite being registered elsewhere. Bit like old Sanchez playing for Leeds on saturday. Goalkeeper Brian Murphy has twisted his ankle so can’t play, and goal-scoring maestro Algenon Fitzgibbon-Beater is on maternity leave.
Winger Shane O’Connor has turned into a pizza while Luke Hyam is rested after a stirling performance in “Death in Venice” at the Ipswich Alhambra Theatre where he played Sheffield Wednesday, to much acclaim.
We don’t have Sebastien Squillaci and Bac Sagna is on his holidays but Aaron Ramsey is fit as a really fit thing who has been on a fitness machine.
Ignasi Miquel who is El Capitano of the Reservoir Dogs (is that really right? Tony) might get a game. He has a high rating and people say he’s jolly good. Mr Song might like a break too.
Ipswich will be giving away free muffins at half time to celebrate the anniversary of the 15–1 defeat they suffered at the hands of the Corinthians on New Year’s Day, 1910. (If it was at the hands of Corinthians, doesn’t that mean Corinthians were playing rugby – Tony)
Yes that’s true Tony – Ipswich football club merged with Ipswich rugby club in 1886, and in fact I have to admit that the original Ipswich team was set up before Dial Square that became Arsenal – so age isn’t everything. But they are a rugby playing side, so we can expect a lively encounter. (Did you get that off Sky? – Tony) Yes.
Which gives us
Szczesny
Eboue, Miquel or Djourou, Koscielny, Gibbs
Ramsey, Rosicky, Denilson (leaving Song and Cesc on the beach)
Walcott, Bendtner, Vela (Van P on the beach)
These are hot days for Ipswich and their vice presidents Nathanael Fromanteel Cobbold and his great aunt John Dupuis Cobbold will be handing out beefburgers at the away end before the game.
We should also remember Ipswich are not without their own successes. In 1887 they beat Ipswich School to win the Suffolk Challenge Cup, but were knocked out by 93rd Highlanders the following week.
In fact not many people know about the Suffolk Highlands so I think we have a bit of sight seeing to do after the game.
The result: Ipswich 3 tries 2 conversions, Arsenal a pint of whelks and a packet of fizzers.
Billy El Dog
PS: Did you see that they are showing The Men Who Talked to Goats on TV this week?
(Phil Gregory has gastroenteritissheepfluvaccinereaction) (Are you sure about that? – Tony)
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