Arsenal News » As the industrial sludge dwellers of the north pick up their knuckles and prepare their black puddings

Oh what a week, what a day.

The chauffeurs are chauffed, the postilions are in position, and the trusty Austin 7 is in the drive ready for the 88 miles from here to Arnos Grove underground station.

And there I was a few days back thinking that these Burnley people were jolly nice folk who would respect the trauma of Arsenal last weekend and come to play football.

But not a bit of it. Hardly had the blood dried in the operating theatre than their dickhead manager was up on the podium saying that the crippling of Ramsey would make no odds, Arsenal don’t like it up em, you have to get in some hard tackles early on to let them know you are there, we have to stand our ground, its a man’s came and you have to expect injury…

Of course those weren’t his exact words but they give the gist of his statement carried by most of the popular press.  Put briefly it says, “we are going to kick Arsenal and if someone gets maimed, then tough.”

Even if he wants his players to behave like this, he could have said it in private.  Given that he said all this in public, goodness knows what he said in in the dressing room.  Probably, “death’s too good for them, so make it painful.”

What will we have in response?

This is of course the Arsenal, so we know how to handle knuckle on the floor thugs.  We do it our way, with wit, humour and victory.

We will have at least one Ramsey flag – “as big as a house” according to Red Action.  Ramsey has become in one week the symbol of our Resistance, and that is always a good thing.

We will also have Walter and the Benelux mob, over specially for the day via the ever obliging EuroStar (ho hum).

We will have right on our side for a single Arsenal player is worth a hundred northern mercenaries who can’t read….   oh hang on a minute I think I turned in Alfred the Great on the eve of the battle with the Northumbrian Danes.  Sorry.  But it is a bloody good squad, and I tell you, Nasri is turning into one of the most sensational players on the planet, and although it is commonplace to laugh at Bendtner, the quality he was showing against Stoke was up another level.

We will have fish and chips before the game.

We will have Theo (probably on the bench) and Diaby (according to the Birmingham Mail who know a thing or two, it seems).   We will have Arshavin back running between the stumpy fingers of the opposition.

There will be the journalists desperate for someone else to get crocked so they can run out their “Arsenal too fragile for the title”.

And we will have a club that has just overtaken Chelsea in the Deloittes rich list (something that I for some reason for extraordinarily funny – rather like going up to the Queen and saying, yes I know you are the boss, but I want my face on the postage stamp).   OK that makes no sense, but how did Chelsea get themselves into such a state that they are slipping down the rich list when they have raped the entire gas and oil production programme of Russia, while little Arsenal who make money from football and a bit of local property selling in a dead market, earn more than them.   That’s what you get for employing Terry mate!

So yes, we will be there, we will make noise, Walter and I will toast each other at the Auld Triangle alongside Billy the Dog (who today will be played by Ian, son of Roger, to whom “Making the Arsenal” is dedicated – assuming you have been following the story.  You can buy Making the Arsenal from me and I’ll sign it for you – there’s a link below).

And that, ladies and gents, is what it is all about.

Wouldn’t it be funny if football managers stopped thinking about football as a fight and instead turned to science fiction for their imagery.   None of this “they don’t like it up em” stuff and instead “we will take their penalty area into a new time field, because they don’t like temporal modulation at Arsenal”.

Ho hum.  See you there.

Love and kisses

Tony

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