Arsenal make billions and Olmpy score minus 1 « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News. Supporting the Lord Wenger; coach of the decade
It is interesting that few if any of our so-called journalists are doing a compare and contrast job on Arsenal’s wealth and the abject poverty of football clubs like Liverpool and Manchester U.
It is as if saving money, planning, and making money legitimately (rather than through usury) is now bad news in the UK.
Arsenal’s turnover to 31 May was £313.3m, which is the largest annual turnover ever by a British football club.
That almost needs repeating in full. In fact it does need repeating. So I will repeat it. LARGEST TURNOVER EVER. The previous tops was Manchester IOU with £256.2m in 2007-08.
The profit will now be derided as coming from the “millstone” of the property development. So one day they say Arsenal are hampered by the unsellable flats, now the figures aren’t real because they include the flats. Oh yes and the flats are being flogged at below market value. No, in fact, Arsenal are giving them away. In fact, Arsenal are paying property dealers in the City to take the flats off their hands.
Back in my world, there’s more, because these Arsenal were figures to May – so this summer’s highly profitable transfer window was not included. Add another £30m.
So praise a plenty for good organisation, good planning? No, we never really expected that. It would only be good if we spent it all on players.
In reality (not the journalist reality) the situation is getting better since the sale of the rest of Highbury Square will take the venture into profit and that money will become part of Arsenal – and so adding to the vast sums the club has for scouting and youth development – which is exactly where I personally want it to go. Give me another 10 Gilles Grimandi’s and spread them across Europe.
Anyway, back to the future, and forward to one year ago – 30 Sept 08 we smashed Porto 4-0. I remember it well.
- Almunia
- Sagna, Toure, Gallas, Clichy
- Walcott, Cesc, Denilson, Nasri
- Van Persie, tall guy who strolls around a bit
Main point must be that the defence is better than it was then, so the opposition will score fewer goals, which puts the starting point for the result as Porto minus 1.
This remarkable scoreline is achieved when 10 minutes into the game three OlympWimpy defenders are seen with spades digging a big ditch in front of the goal they are defending. The ref looks into it, checks the rule book and then gives a yellow card to Eduardo for falling over a pile of rubble.
Arsenal find six stewards who are amazingly not chatting on mobile phones while blocking the gangways of honest season ticket holders who are trying to take their places, and after nine hours the hole is filled in. Song is given a yellow card for having aggressive hair.
Interestingly Mannone then scores his first goal for the club (he rushes out of the area to break up an attack, and the resulting clearance hits the remnants of the hole, then the corner flag, takes a huge spin, hits a steward, bounces once and goes into the net.)
Just before half time the man at Sky who wrote the rubbish yesterday about Vela is seen hanging around Club Level. Six stewards mistake him for a supporter and he is grabbed and thrown over the edge onto the lower tier. Fortunately he is so fat that he bounces seventeen times before being caught by Gunnersaurus who picks the guy up, and throws him into the net, thus scoring Arsenal’s third.
Through a techno error the TV pictures at half time go wrong and instead of showing games from around the Champy League give extended highlights of Barrow against Mansfield in the Conference. It is quite a good match.
Adverts show two men from Liverpool holding begging bowls talking to men in white coats, crying, as they realise the chap they want to give the club to is actually the brother in law of the man who owns Portsmouth.
In the second half Arsenal bring on Jack Wilshere who beats the entire opposition, his own team, the bench, the opposition bench, the press box, six white horses, a golden elephant, 93 stewards and a kangeroo before scoring the final goal from 250 yards out. The newspapers describe him as “a minor talent of suspect temperament,” and criticse how easily he goes down when 11 Olympy Wimpy players bury him 72 feet below the penalty spot they are defending in the second half.
Carlos Vela then scores a hatrick of goals which are missed by the TV cameras who are focussed on the away support, as the commentators tell us how loyal and lively they are, and how it will be impossible to get a meal in a Greek restaurant tonight.
So quite clearly Arsenal 6 Olympy-Wimpy -1. I have been offered 2000o to 1 at the bookies on that, and so took a fiver. Simpletons! As if I could be wrong.
Meanwhile, please do not forget to buy your HIGHBURY HIGH at tonight’s game. If you are not actually making it to the Ems you can buy the magazine as a subscription line… Here’s the links
6 issue subscription, delivery to UK address (£12.00)…
6 issues, delivered to a Europe address: (£15.00)…
Or six issues in the rest of the world (£18.00)…
Just in case any link doesn’t work for you, you can go to www.shop.firstandbest.co.uk and you will see the three options there at the top of the selection of new products.
The amount in pounds will be translated into your local currency for your credit card bill, which will show in the name Hamilton House.
You can also buy with a cheque. Prices are the same…
6 issue subscription £12 (UK), £15 (Europe) or £18 (World) Cheques payable to Highbury High
Address: 11 Tannington Terrace, Gillespie Road, London N5 1LE
(c) Tony Attwood 2009