Ref Watch: Manchester City v Arsenal; Mr Clattenberg, his alleged past, our game « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News, supporting the club, the players and the manager

Ref Watch – Manchester City v Arsenal – 24/10/2010

By DogFace

I’d like, if you good people of the Arsenal blogosphere are willing, to drop in occasionally to bring to your attention some Arsenal news of the ‘Untold’ variety.  I warn you I’m an old cynic… but please bear with me as I mean well.

This is a new feature I’d like to call RefWatch – bit like BayWatch but with bigger tits… I jest – I’m actually attempting to sound a warning siren as to any shifty shenanigans and share with you any suspicious trends, I casually observe, that blight our beautiful game.

So where do I start with RefWatch this weekend… and why pick this particular weekend?  Well – it’s a biggie as the City of Manchester (blue) face the mighty Arsenal – one might say that they [Citeh], having played last night, are going to need help were they to get a result… and I, for one (plus many a pro gambler), believe they could well get it.

If you recall the last time we faced Manchester City under Clattenberg’s watchful gaze he allowed the game to degenerate into a bit of the old ‘ultra violence’ thus removing such advantages like ‘skill’ and ‘creativity’ as relevant factors, for consideration, when ‘picking a winner’.  To be honest – it could be (and I hope it is) that Marky C will get swapped out last minute by the PGMOB (which is their want and frequently happens) just to [coincidentally] screw up the spreadsheets of the aforementioned gambling fraternity – who knows?!

Anyhoo, let’s have a look at his profile:

Name:                           Mark Clattenberg

Date of birth:                 13 March 1975

Place of birth:                 Consett, County Durham, England

Other occupation:           Qualified electrician

Favourite Colour:            Sky Blue

Ok – I made that last bit up… but it could be true and you’ll see why when we have a wee gander at Mr. Clattenberg’s record with the sky blues throughout his career:

13/11/2004            Manchester City            1 – 1            Blackburn Rovers

20/08/2005            Birmingham City            1 – 2            Manchester City

04/12/2006            Manchester City            0 – 0            Watford

26/12/2006            Sheffield United              0 – 1            Manchester City

19/08/2007            Manchester City            1 – 0            Manchester United

12/09/2009            Manchester City            4 – 2            Arsenal

12/12/2009            Bolton Wanderers            3 – 3            Manchester City

13/02/2010            Manchester City            1 – 1            Stoke City

01/05/2010            Manchester City            3 – 1            Aston Villa

23/08/2010            Manchester City            3 – 0            Liverpool

11/09/2010            Manchester City            1 – 1            Blackburn Rovers

So out of the 11 games that Mark Clattenberg has been involved with Manchester City; it seems that they have never lost a game:

Wins:           6

Draws:            5

Losses:            0

The more observant of you will have noticed that there is a little gap in his career – and those with longer memories than the average arm chair dwelling self-harming ‘fan’ will point out, to the more observant of you, that Mr. Clattenberg had to take a season off from the old refereeing lark as he was banned for… hmm – well it could have been the suggestion of violence in an email to a business partner’s family (to whom he allegedly owed money) – although the email isn’t alleged and here it is:

“Check you can use our companies (sic) money to fund your legal crusade against me. If not, taking me to court might cause your family some pain.”

Or it could be for the failure to explain adequately to the PGMOB why the police had found evidence of numerous visits to gambling websites on his computer when they confiscated it?

It was quite a fall from grace for Mr. Clattenberg who was at this time swanning around the pitch as the Air Asia poster boy… funnily enough, as an aside, Air Asia (who sponsored the PGMOB) was part owned by Shin Corp – which, in turn, was run by the alleged ‘corrupt to the core genocidal maniac’ or ‘Fit and Proper Person’ (depending on how you look at it) Thaksin Shinawatra who then, when the heat was on in Thailand, sold up Shin Corp and bought into… oh look, what a coincidence, Manchester City!

Stike a light – who’d ‘ave thunk it guvner?!

Still – he didn’t waste his year off (with full pay) – he got what appears to be some nice hair implants… and probably an all expenses paid Air Asia trip to Thailand for a back/sack/crack wax with a happy ending thrown in for good measure?

But forget all that – you don’t need to see his identification and these aren’t the droids you’re looking for, let’s all just trust and ‘Respect’ him like the campaign suggests we should and hope with our credulous working class hope that someone up there in the echelons of football and/or sports journalism is paying attention and perhaps had the good grace to tap him lightly on the shoulder make the suggestion that he might like to do a good job at the weekend.

On the bright side…  and I like to end on a positive – Arsenal’s all about breaking records – we had the season unbeaten, we beat AC Milan on their own turf and we just got the most goals scored in the first 3 CL games ever… so maybe – just MAYBE we can break the unbeaten record held by Manchester City under Mark Clattenberg?

On The History Site – the newspaper report of our last game at Plumstead

In “Making The Arsenal” – how we got into the state reported on the History Site

On Untold Arsenal – everything you ever wanted to know and a lot more