The Anti Arsenal Conspiracy …FACT! « Untold Arsenal: Arsenal News, supporting the club, the players and the manager

Anti Arsenal Conspiracy …FACT!

By Paul Blythe

I have read recent articles by Tony, Walter and Phil and to be honest I am just a little pissed off. No, not at the authors, not even at what they had to say, but at the subject to which their ample talents were addressed.

It was one of those moments when a vague feeling of general discontent that I was feeling over the past few days crystallises into firm knowledge of just what was causing this righteous indignation!

Fact! Satan is the ruler of Hell.

Actually as an angel he has never been there, ever, though he may turn up at Armageddon!

Like many of you I listened to the skewed, hackneyed inaccurate and uninspiring commentaries recently. Not just those of live games but the studio wisdom of MOTD, paper articles and some other blogs as well.

Just how does this perceived wisdom and misinformation become accepted as true, a ‘Fact’?

Fact! Mount Everest is the tallest mountain on earth.

Except Mauna Kea is 2100 metres taller!

Have you ever noticed how many so called ‘Facts’ start out as simple gossip that turns into a rumour? You may have indulged a little yourself. The rumour does not have to begin with malicious intent, but instead as a form of speculation. But the more salacious and scandalous, the more likely it is to get a hearing and of course it is much more fun to pass it on. More often than not it seems that as long as it is a generalised blanket statement about what they think has happened it is ripe for repetition. It matters little if it is accurate or true or even half true.

Fact! The Sahara is the world’s largest desert.

Except Antarctica is also a desert and much, much bigger!

Everyone at some time or another has suffered from untrue and unwarranted gossip about themselves or their affairs. Pisses you right off, doesn’t it?

The key seems to be not in the accuracy or the voracity, but in the willingness for someone to pass it on. Even if the person is not well respected in themselves they can garner popularity by spreading such rumours. There are plenty of gullible people out there to listen and blindly repeat, not taking the time to think about it, analyse it, but can’t wait to pass it on. As long as it reinforces their inbuilt biases and bolsters up their own often warped belief systems they will thrive on the passing of such tales. Especially if they can knock a  successful person or one  in a position of authority, as they have no longer have or have never had the ability to do so themselves in that person’s area of expertise. Build them up and knock them down.

Fact! Napoleon Bonaparte was a French short arse.

Except he was Corsican and he was 5’ 6 ½” making him above average for the time!

The more you believe the more you will spread, the more you spread the more will believe, and often the story becomes embellished and gilded as in each retelling claims are exaggerated and modified to improve the story and the telling.

Of course it helps if you hear it from ‘reputable’ people or blogs or media and as night follows day it takes on a momentum of its own. Gossip becomes rumour becomes widely held belief becomes Fact. And because it is fact you have no problem in passing it on as it ceases to become gossip but cold hard fact. No guilt associated in relating cast-iron irrefutable facts is there?

Fact! Goldfish have a three second memory.

Actually they can remember quite well for months at a time!

Except we should expect more and demand more from our ‘free’ media in this country, if you read a piece in the paper or hear it on TV you expect it to be at the very least accurate. No one likes to be lied to or misled. No one likes to be seemed to be foolish and out of the loop, nor do they want their egos stroked.

Fact! Eve ate the apple in the Garden of Eden.

Except there is no mention of apple at all, a fruit yes, an apple no!

The danger is when opinion no matter how persuasive becomes dressed in the amour of fact. Those wonderful footballing pundits that regularly defecate on Arsenal are a case in point.

Listen to them week in week out repeating the same tired old platitudes, repetition of the gossip come rumour come fact. I thought as a pundit they had a degree of expertise in the subject they are discussing? Other that is, than having shown some aptitude for kicking a ball about in the long distant past.

Fact! The animals went into the Ark two by two.

Except there was a difference, the unclean ones did, the clean ones 7 by 7! So Pigs 2, sheep 14!

I am getting nauseous watching them casting their pearls of wisdom before the swine of us the ignorant, the Gooner audience. We all want well thought out reasoned debate, seeing angles the rest of us miss. We can become educated at the feet of such masters. Our understanding of tactics and rule interpretation grows as we are enlightened by our betters.

But sadly no, they just trot out the same old faecal matter, in the certain knowledge that repetition is king. If they say what has already become accepted wisdom, they do not have to prepare. They do not have to think; they do not have to do anything difficult, just sit, spout, pick up the cheque and work out where to play golf next.

Fact! Thomas Edison invented the light bulb!

Hmmm nope, might have stolen the idea and patented it!

I do not want a sanitised, pro Arsenal wonderland; I just want fair, reasoned and accurate reporting.

It is long overdue for the full time whistle to be blown on these pudgy, non opinionated, past sell by date, mental midgets. It is not their fault they are unable to come up with a rational thought now and again. It may not even be a conspiracy against Arsenal as that would take a little effort. It is lazy, uninspired punditry, from those without the talent, ability or motivation to formulate a cogent thought of their own. It wouldn’t even be so bad if they stole wisdom from elsewhere and reiterated it as their own, as long as it was accurate, but sadly they neither have the talent nor the wit to even try.

Fact! There are 10 commandments in the bible.

Um no, 262 ish actually, and still counting¬

Get in some people that have reasoned argument, maybe even some facts and figures! It might even be possible to let someone say what they actually think, having thought of it themselves!  I don’t want to have to agree with them, I just want their input to add to my enjoyment of this wonderful game. I want to learn more about it, see events through the eyes of another, to inspire some real debate.

Not to listen to groundless gossip and rumour regurgitated as Fact.

Fact! Going out with your hair wet will bring on a cold.

Well only if wet hair attracts viruses, which it doesn’t!

Enough said but I’ll leave you with this little snippet.

All great minds discuss ideas, some average minds discuss events, and most small minds discuss people, 87.958% of sporting pundits spout meaningless drivel dressed up as Fact.

Eleanor Roosevelt and A Nother.