Portsmouth

• Nickname:  Portsmouth

• Most notorious person.   Harry Redknapp – arrested November 2007

• Ownership:  Foreign

• Best known song:   Pay up Harry, Harry pay up  .

• Most obvious tactics:   Buy lots of old players.  Get the police involved

• Greatest claim to fame:  Don’t think there actually is one.  Apart from the police.

During the long rambling police investigation into football corruption Harry Redknapp was arrested and released on police bail.   When asked why he was arrested, Harry said, “they have to arrest you if they want to talk to you.”

Actually Harry this isn’t quite true.  If the police want to talk to you they invite you to come to the station, or they visit your home and ask you some questions.  Either way you “help police with their enquiries”.

Only if they think you will flee the country or interfere with evidence do they arrest you so that they can warn you about doing naughty things.

Where old folks go to play.

Looked at one way getting rid of Alain Perrin and replacing him with Harry was a brilliant move.  Harry R took Portsmouth up to the top 6 in the league by the start of 2007, while his predecessor had flopped about in the relegation mire until our Harry sorted it out.

But that misses one big thing.

Perrin left Portsmouth and went to Sochaux, who by the end of 2006 third in Ligue 1 which is interesting in that  Sochaux is a hamlet of less than 4,500 inhabitants, but are filling the 20,000-seater Stade Auguste Bonal. 

The big difference between between Pompy and this bunch of backlanders is that in 1945 Sochaux decided to concentrate on developing young talent.   They are not a top 3 club – they came 15th is 2006, but they have some stability.

But the most important point is that Perrin was not the clown he may have appeared during his seven months at Portsmouth.  Perrin’s failure was like that of Jacques Santini at Tottenham and Paul Le Guen at Rangers – he failed in the almost impossible task of running French style and ability with British high speed football.  Previously Perrin had  led Troyes from an amateur regional league all the way into Ligue 1 and the Uefa Cup.   As did his first season at Marseille in 2002-03, when he led OM to second place, their best finish in ten years.

So what was wrong with Portsmouth?  The fact is they had a great manager with them in Perrin, but did not work with him to find a way to merge the best of France and England.  In fact only Wenger has truly managed that – but that does not make Perrin a dope.  The fault has to be with Portsmouth.  They had the power to bring in a team to work with him – but instead they ended up with Harry saying “look I’ve inherited these players and they don’t speak English.”

No Harry, they used to have a multi-lingual manager.  And Portsmouth could have been something more than a team buying up everyone else’s cast offs.

Of course I could be the dope here, and maybe Harry will give Pompy a long term ability to reach the top 6 regularly.   Maybe.  But there is no doubt that the man they ridiculed moved on to astounding achievement.  Portsmouth could have had that.