Arsenal News » Arsenal/Wigan on “Talk like a Pirate Day”

If you have not come across “Talk like a pirate day” before, or indeed if you are not resident in England, it may come as a bit of a shock that there is such a thing.

But there is, and it has been around for about 10 years – go to http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html if you don’t believe a word I am saying.

I appreciate that the characters on the site (Cap’n Slappy, Ol’ Chumbucket and Mad Sally) sound like the Tottenham midfield, but it is all true – it is “Talk like a pirate day”.

Meanwhile back on planet Zonk it is SUPERKID DAY – yes the magnificent moment when one of our youngsters STEPS UP and PLAYS A BLINDER (actually you don’t hear that one so much these days), and is DISCOVERED.

Who is it to be?  Mannone, who makes a string of two saves to keep us in the game at 6-1?  Perhaps.  But maybe today is Wilshere Day.  Or Ramsey Day?  One or t’other me hearties.  (If English is not your first language that last sentence will be incomprehensible – it is pirate talk – as is “Why is a pirate called a pirate?”  “Because they Arghhhhhhhhh”.)

Yes, well…

One year ago we had played home games against West Bromwich Wobbleyou and beaten them 1-0, FC Twenty two and a third, 4-0, Newcastle Zebras 3-0, and so it was time for an away game at Notlob, the most backwards team in the galaxy, on 20 September.

Our team  was

• Almunia
• Sagna, Toure, Gallas, Clichy (Djourou)
• Denilson, Fabregas, Song, Eboue
• Bendtner (Walcott) and some tall geezer who strolled around the pitch.

We won the game 3-1 (Eboue, Bendtner, Denilson) and so were top of the league having won 4 lost 1, scored 11 let in 2.

So it might seem we are not doing so well, but let us remember we had played WBA (who went down) the Zebras (who went down), Bolton (who were fairly awful) and Fulham (who surprised everyone).  We’d drawn our Champs League game in the seaside holiday town of Kiev.

It’s a tougher start this year, and the injuries just keep on coming, day by day by day by day by…

And this is what happens…

In this game Wenger surprises everyone by nominating Pat Rice to play as team mascot, while making Jack Wilshere walk the plank.   Wilshere scores 20 seconds before kick off.  Theo, anxious that his image as the sparky youngster should not be replaced, fights his way out of the team seats, screams abuse at the Lord Wenger, rushes across the pitch, knocks out Mannone, takes his jersey, and taunts the six plucky away fans who made the journey south from the land of the Pier. (George Orwell reference).

Now compare this year with last year… with rather obviously the replacements in caps.

Sagna, Toure VERMAELEN, Gallas, Clichy

Denilson DIABY, Fabregas, Song, Eboue WILSHERE/ROSICKY

Bendtner; some tall geezer who strolled around the pitch VAN PERSIE/EDUARDO

Is this an improvement?  The players who have improved vis a vis their equivalent last season are

• Vermaelen better than Toure last year
• Song better than Song last year
• Wilshere/Rosicky
• Van Persie/Eduardo better than the big bloke who strolled around

So even with us still playing half a reserve team every game, we are still better off.   And this must be the moment when Diaby (who seems to be staggeringly brilliant or staggering) shakes off the shackles, does something to the mainbrace (pirate reference) and takes on the role he did against Portsmouth (nautical reference).

As to Wilshere (Wilshere reference): he is going to win the world cup for England.  (I am not a God-fearing man but apparently it says so in Revelations).  So  he obviously is better than anyone and should play for all 234 minutes.

Don’t forget, HIGHBURY HIGH comes out next week.  If

1. you can’t get to the games
2. you want something without any pirate references
3. you enjoy reading positive stuff about Arsenal

then you must obviously subscribe.

• 6 game subscription  £12 (UK), £15 (Europe) or £18 (World)
• Cheques payable to Highbury High
• Address: 11 Tannington Terrace, Gillespie Road, London N5 1LE

Ahoy you landlubbers (meaningless gibberish reference).

Oh yes, we win 6-1.  (Score reference).

(c) Tony Attwood 2009